Lesson #6: Find The Right Mirrors

We all know what a mirror does.  Thanks to mirrors we know what we look like.  But Brett points out that far more goes into our self image than just this physical reflection.  And he highlights the point that "virtually all of our experience serves as a psychological mirror".  And, too, that we see ourselves reflected in the impacts we have upon the world around us.  And Brett's final point in the 1st paragraph hammers home the fact that if we want to have a sense of self worth and competence, then we need to find the right mirrors.

This lesson was a stopping point for this blog for many reasons.  The main one being that this is a tough pill for me to personally swallow, as my childhood mirrors were so poor.  Then my early adult and mid-life mirrors were poor. And Brett points out next how damaging abusive relationships can be.  Especially when abusers are parents and significant romantic partners.   I've had both and the result of that is a twisted self image.  There is just no way around it.  And out of such twisted self-images, it's common to find partners and friends that validate the twisted identity, sadly repeating the cycle.   The mirrors are improving for me but it's no coincidence that my professional and personal life is a constant struggle.

But it's good to realize the damage that has been done and be consciously aware of how I've been impacted.   And by focusing on the good mirrors that I have now, much of the effects of facing distorting mirrors can be minimized.  Let the crappy people be as crappy as they want -- all by themselves!

The next main point of this lesson is the Devon principle.  In a nutshell, tackle work that you don't like, you'll be frustrated and feel inadequate. Persue work that you love, that matches your interests, values and abilities,  you'll feel self fulfilled and gain confidence.  A large portion of career success consists of finding the right mirrors.  And it's much easier to get to the top when you're climbing the right ladders.

Next time we will finish up this lesson with great learning and development tactics from Brett.