Interesting to look at "change" as both a challenge and a trap. I had never thought about how, when entertaining change, I divide myself into qualities that I like and qualities that I don't. I have to split myself into good and bad, acceptable and unacceptable.
And what comes next is that I embrace the good and try to avoid the bad. The bad is marginalized, denied, so that I consciously don't make myself feel like a piece of shit.
The problem with this is that when the dirty laundry is stuffed under the bed, it can't help to guide my learning. Stuffing the weaknesses is easy with positive thinking! If I only go down the happy road, I'll not have to think about and embrace all that I've done wrong.
As Brett quotes "The motivation for much positive thinking is a denial of weakness".
It's time for me to step up and love myself. To reach the point of accepting my shortcomings -- now that I'm fully aware of most of them -- and to appreciate my very humanness.
My weaknesses are a part of me and someone who loves me will love the whole package -- even if some of it stinks. So it's ok for my inner trading coach to love me and treat me well, even when I screw up.
As hard as it is to accept, my short comings can actually become opportunities to go deeper into myself and guide my own development.
Every frustration-induced blowup day is there to teach me something.
My excercise for this lesson is to create the three column worksheet Brett describes. Last Thursday's blowup day will work perfectly for this excercise.
Let's make myself stronger by reaching out to my flaws. Let's learn how to embrace Scott and take the first step to becoming the person I'm capable of being.
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