I think it quite possible that I took so long to do part 2 of this lesson because it made me feel so darn uncomfortable. I simply DO NOT want to have all of my weaknesses staring me in the face. It's probably the reason why I've lived most of my life mired in basic routines. Not shaking up the house!
Last time we left with the notion that "feelings contain information" and how our emotions and feelings are core components of decision making. As my trading coach, my goal is to not banish the negative feelings associated with my worst trading. Repeat: Don't stuff, ignore or deny the bad feelings. Doing so is not going to allow me to evolve and beat the demons once and for all.
The most constructive step that I can take to change feelings is to give them full acknowledgment and extract their vital information. Feelings inform me about my appraisals of self, others, and world.
Brett quotes a study that found by writing in a journal or talking aloud for a half hour a day had a powerful effect on enabling people to effectively cope with challenging emotional circumstances, including traumas and crises. Trading is so much about dealing with hard emotional circumstances. I've been traumatized countless times from frustrated trading blowups. I've beaten myself up with over perfectionistic expectations of myself. I've endured literally years worth of self-loathing, self-ridicule and negative emotions. Trading can be a catalyst for some of the most cataclysmic self-destructive behaviours in the world!
By writing and talking about my challenging emotional circumstances (nice way to put it), they move from implicit feelings to explicit. They rise up from hiding under the surface to a freeway billboard -- fully exposing themselves. Here I can begin the process of viewing them from different angles and place them in a different context. I can begin to really investigate...to understand them in a constructive, nurturing fashion. I can realize that I don't HAVE to be so hard on myself. And I can put my energy where it should be: reading supply and demand.
Without acknowledging my emotions -- good and bad -- I lose their information and thus the opportunity to shift perspectives. Here in the lesson Brett examples a trader who is EXACTLY like me. The frustrated, angry trader brushes aside his tensions and forges blindly ahead, finding himself easily triggered the next day. (This is exactly what I do. Blow up days come in streaks.) And Brett then goes on to say how this is particularly the case when the frustrations are triggered initially by trading mistakes. Brett is spot on here as I can personally attest to.
Brett examples a trader who fought the market trend all morning, creating losses and a build up of frustration. Later, this fellow "blew up" in the afternoon. Brett does not mention specifics here but I can make some extremely educated guesses. If the trader was trading the ES, a likely scenario was that the morning trend was strong. And the trader, after watching the market rotate back and forth the previous day, could not resist fading the trend. He probably took at least 3-4 stops and generated losses around $600 per contract. At this point, if he were me, the frustration was now to the point that "fighting" was ALL that mattered. Fighting with trade entries. Engaging. KICKING THAT MOTHER FUCKER MARKET'S ASS. Not sound trading. Not profitability. Nothing but being the heroic caveman and chucking that fucking spear until my arm fell off.
This guy probably "threw his spear" until he had lost half of his account. More likely 3/4's of it.
That's what frustration can do.
I'll continue this lesson in part 3.
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